My life has changed dramatically in the past year(s), emotionally and spiritually. I have actually figured out that there are surprising turns on every road of life. Sometimes we plan for new changes and are astonished to come across unexpected incidents. As for me, one day I found myself sitting in front of a blank page, trying to produce something genuine. I am creating!
This process of creating something out of nothing is daunting and I need to come up with a strategy to live through the “art” in me. Rather than following a concrete plan, I decide to "float.” Basically it means let it be and do many things at the same time. I am talking about a life of a frenetic talent who loves , enjoys many things, and is willing to experience any form of creativity until something worthwhile pops up, much like staring at a scary blank canvas until a beautiful painting is born in real life, simply because a strong urge of creative passion finally defeats the fear of self-expression. You can call it a defense mechanism if you will because floating is to survive the difficult process of art creation so that the muse of creativity will not die away. Taking the first step to paint or write down a vision, a beautiful object, whatever it is, can take ages. On one hand, I am afraid of letting others down by telling the most embarrassing story ever. Or it may turn out to be a personal humiliation of producing something that is not even close to the original. The mental block stays there until I decide to shift my mind.
I love personalizing life and creating my own footprints in the world because a mark of myself on anything essentially recognizes my existence on earth. There is a good side and bad side to this and analyzing everything can be very energy-consuming. I therefore constantly remind myself of being patient and concentrating on the positive side. I have learnt how to properly expose myself to the process of art creation while making it pleasurable. What has come out at the end of the day is that I understand there is a constant celebration of beautiful things and moments around me, almost in every corner of the world, in one way or another, significant or non-significant. It builds up a flow of creativity extremely rewarding for any participant who joins in the wonderful creation of the universe. I wish no more than being part of that incredible flow, knowing that what I will personally capture is a small piece of a big picture. So I take one step at a time, day by day, knowing that creation always happens, and each moment is unique from any other.
Nevertheless, I am at times still locked up in my own way of thinking, or simply cannot overcome natural reluctance of trying new things, or the fear of not being “cool” or innovative enough. Although creating needs exercise and attention, who says that being creative should be a task? I choose not to push myself too hard, be happy with the way things are. My concept of "floating" is a new way of living in a “reasonable” uncertainty, accepting who I am and adapting to life in a philosophy that treasures the feeling of being fulfilled anywhere, anytime. "Floating" is symbolized by an open parachute flying in the sky and pick up any potential of creativity out there to transform into something new and beautiful. I believe that many attempts to create may have been lost, forgotten, misplaced, but then found back years or decades later . What happened in the past may probably come back in the future, but the passion of creation will be different anytime. Reflecting on it, I am no longer afraid of giving it a shot and capturing a dream in moments of beauty. Whatever it becomes, at least my body and soul are in search for something that is yet to be accomplished. The start of experiencing the wonderful process of creation brings pieces of myself into place and has kept the spirit of art close to me ever since.