Blog - Art & Style

The moment to hold back is the moment to give it all

I meant to write about this since a while ago. I thought this time around I should articulate this experience as much as possible as it has also become a lesson for me. As you know, being a writer/artist, I seem to constantly live in "fear". It looks like the stress of being in need to generate ideas. In my previous professional work, I was told that nobody could do anything with ideas. It is good to have ideas, but in general ideas are not that useful.

Now that I have created my space for creativity and doing artwork, I have started collecting more and more ideas. Since the beginning of this year I have grown increasingly fond of conceptual art and surrealism. I am nowhere near full understanding of this space recognized by monumental artists, for instance Dada, Jackson Pollock, Andy Warhol, and the likes. However, I start having the meaningful influence, which I have been craving for a long time, the kind of "fellowship" as in "Oh yes, same here, I can definitely related to that!" As you know, I don't have a formal art education and I decided to approach art in a rather entrepreneurial way, meaning "let's see how things go and then slowly shape things around". That's why recent reading more about conceptual art and surrealism does provide me with more sense of direction.

The reason why I come up with the title of this article is because I have been in sort of hesitation for a few months now, about where I would go from here. The question from other people like "so what's next?" keeps coming up. To be honest, I really haven't thought that far out. I think as for me the biggest challenge is to maintain the level of interest as it was originally created. I don't wake up in the morning and ask myself what kind of "breakthrough" ideas I would write or photograph today. Although I refrain from overthinking about this, it doesn't mean it is not in back of my mind.

And life is still going on with daily routines such as go shopping, picking up phone calls, paying bills, etc. I still have to live my life and then I will see how to articulate the art part around it. Besides, there are all kinds of drawbacks and negative emotions along the way like fear, hesitation, procrastination or not-so-supportive comments from others. Many times I thought this is not going to go anywhere and I should hold myself back.

Every single time I feel there is a barrier I can't cross on my way towards personal pursuance of art, something else happens and gives me extra courage and belief. In this case, it is several books on conceptual art and surrealism. And again and again, I keep on my practice of writing and photography. I suppose a message from me is whenever you are in the state of doubt or being challenged to proceed forward, it is exactly the sign of giving out all your passion.

As a result of me giving myself another good shot, here comes a collection called Surreal Scenes 1. From this time onwards, I am planning to work my art more academically (with additional reading and research of art history). I am, however, not giving up on spontaneity just yet.